The "Pickles" Report
West Hill snookered in the sticks…
The evening got off to a torrid start…. With the last pick up on the way in Ottery St Mary, Baz the last man had been snookered by his employers and was not in… so a quick turn around and back to Woody’s house to get his son, some five miles away in the opposite direction, (here after known as ‘The Sapling’ – being a young Woody) making us late for our allotted break off time!! Like by half an hour late, they were not pleased…..
Eventually we raced into the sleepy Devon Village of Dallwood with the .Com road show intent on picking up more valuable away points… or was that pints??
With Mansell Woody on his way Darkness took charge of the situation and won the toss and asked the home team to break off.
Within two goes the rest of us had arrived and a full team was ready for action.
The home team made up of seasoned campaigners soon had the run of the ball, although for the second week away from home, we were to play on a slow baize alley. With a modest target of 55 and a little adjustment to the running order, the pins were racked up. Jacko again leading the line opened up the pins off the break and had to settle for a six with the balls bouncing back off the cushion behind and knocking over skittles that did not count. Woody eager to show his young son how it should be done, chalked his end and fired the cue ball at them with the pace of Hurricane Higgins and .. Yes he missed down the middle… ‘A ONE’ shouted the well behaved spectators. A word with the match referee was required as he seemed a little quick at the skittles pick up. A poor 4 was scored, but hey, fines were on the up!! Over to The Sapling making his long awaited debut; and to our surprise it was like winding the clock back 30 years (well may be 20 years) WOOSH, he was faster than Rocket Ronnie…. But I have to say somewhat less accurate, but what the heck, he was beating Pops.
Darkness was obviously suffering from having an extra level of responsibility this week and despite putting side and some bottom on the cue ball only managed a 1. Best fine of the night. DK started with a steady break of 7 and Pickles cleared table leaving the sticker up with some work to do. Stevie G, being available again this week following his suspension, miscued his break off and had to play safe for seven. Last man up was Goody who won the frame for the Waggers but the Team slipped to an early deficit of 3.
With a run of lost frames to the half time interval, we needed a rest. Jacko went in off; Pickles left two winger skittles as far apart as Ray Reardon’s teeth; Darkness decided to bowl slower than Terry Griffiths and at last we had a re-rack (spare). And boy did he make good use of it, scoring 15. Thing were looking up…DK with a re-rack chance tried the old billiard shot and missed. But as the frames slowly slipped away one by one we were left with two ends to go and 27 to make up. We gripped our balls and rolled ‘em out of the D. At last, we recovered some ground, a couple of fine cuts (watch it) and a follow through or two pulled us back to within 17. With target of 9 reds and blacks needed to secure a famous victory, we gave it our best shot. More like sh*t… yes worse than Chaz and Dave’s ‘Snooker Loopy’ for those of you old enough to remember!! So we lost on a re-spotted black by 18.
But the best of it was that ‘The Sapling’ had cut the Old Man down, who incidentally finished with the lowest score of the evening, and thus as it is our tradition is forced into dropping himself next week. We hope his Dad will be kind enough to give him a lift next week, and he will also be mentally strong enough to come along and watch young Sappy perform again!!
Waggers got beaten by the Toppers, for the first time in ages.
The highest break prize went to Goody who piped Darkness and Pickles by the odd skittle.
The post match refreshments, a deluxe ploughman’s, that included pate, ham, cheeses, salad and a basket of French fries was delightful. It was also at no extra cost, as we are expected to reciprocate at the return fixture next year, incidentally I and some of my team mates will be unable to play that week due to ‘Tight Wallet’ fever. We are already looking for available players for that night!! As for the suggestion that the Catering Manager should enlarge the Menu for home games, to allow for say ‘healthier’ options he has agreed the following will now be available:
Healthy Option - Pasties Contains - meat and two veg
Unhealthy Option - Jumbo Sausage Roll Contains - little meat and no veg
In a week when snooker mourned the passing of one of its brightest young stars, we dedicated this week to Paul Hunter.