The "Pickles" Report

Champions League Tuesday… The .COM romp home United.. 

Home league action returned to the Legion against a mixed Broadclyst side Captained by the ever youthful Tony.

They had obviously done their homework prior to the game, opting for all females up front, hoping to get them off to a good start but probably more to the point trying to put us off!!

But ‘Fergie’ Woody was not to be lured into such a trap and stuck to his tried and tested formula… the 2-4-2. Jacko, and late replacement Baz in for the injured Pistol up front. A midfield of Himself, Darkness, DK and Pickles, whilst at the back, the strong and reliable pairing of Deanno and Goode.

With Wagger Gerrard suspended, and Filthy on loan till the end of the month to Coventry, everyone would have to perform at their best and at peak fitness to get a result tonight.

Woody generously allowed the visitors the choice of ends, and they chose to go second. (Yes he lost the flippin’ toss)

With the crowd whipped up into a frenzy of excitement due to Jacko deciding that he would offer Pickles’ new motor as the Prize for the highest score of the night, off we went.

Scoring was low in the difficult conditions, Woody pointing out the fact that it was a very foggy evening, and there was a wet patch on the floor (probably due to his weak bladder). He said that he was having trouble with his grip, and his feet were slipping. That’s what happens if you do not wear the right gear. I can’t believe he had left his kit at home!! He must get a pair of Predator Six Stud Skittle boots for hard ground by next week!

With honours fairly even after two ends, no penalties (spares) and outstanding bravery from Baz for taking out the winger with out putting it wide, we were just a head.

As the midpoint of the match approached, DK made an awfull error in midfield allowing his counter part to get ahead by missing twice then only finding a single pin for a very costly ONE…..The usually ever, sort of solid Deanno, fresh from his cash bonus for MOM last week, appeared to have his mind on his Training Camp in Cyprus next week, and was struggling to get going. Pickles held the midfield together in the early stages clearing the square on more than one occasion.

Half-time. With the pasties in, and a good Managerial type motivational talking too from the Skipper, helped with copious amounts of crips, we quickly turned a half time deficit of 11 to a lead of half a dozen, and the second half saw our extra fitness start to count. Darkness was awarded a penalty (spare) which was duly converted to 14. Goode went off for treatment shortly after the restart, only to return with the Beach Boys who wasted no time in starting the ‘.ComKop’ singing from the stands. It was then that we started to extend the lead. Wagger’s again in control forged a lead despite DK carrying an eye strain and dislocated shoulder, as at one point he would have scored more if he’d have been absent!!! (All 4’s) Pickles had two penalty appeals both of which failed to fall over in the box, and Woody twice was one on one with the alley and missed. Goody flashed one wide of the upright late on, but it was Deanno who would get a last gasp spot kick (spare) to challenge Darkness for this weeks brown envelope. Baz managed to bend one round the wall and hit the back stick. Whilst the ever popular Jacko made a real nuisance of himself up front by leading the line, and creating havoc in the Broadclyst end.

As we went into injury time, we had a comfortable lead which ended with a flourish to 34.

Man of the Match was Darkness, who took Pickles’ prize motor (unbeknown to Pickle’s) drove it up the road only to leave it outside Austins house – with a sign in the window reading – ‘this is what you could ‘ave won’ - he swiftly returned the keys saying he did not like the driving position, and did not wish to see him and Jacko walking miles home!! Very sporting chap eh!! Pickle’s face was a picture when he walked onto the car park… no car!!

Waggers made it a hat trick of wins and the bookings (fines) picked up for poor play added up to a couple of quid to the end of season bash with the WAGS.

In Woody’s post match interview, he praised the team for a strong second half, demonstrating a desire to eat and drink as much as you can in three hours. The pasties were not as good as usual and Tesco will be put on the transfer list if we do not see an improvement in two weeks time. We are already talking to John Sainsbury about a possible move during the transfer window in January.

So, we are away next week, and ticket information for season ticket holders will be available on the internet soon.

There are two Team Buses for the squad, details of which will be forwarded by email.